by Turana Abdullayeva
Hello, everyone. I’m Turana, a second-year PhD student in the School of Education at the University of Sheffield. This is my second PhD adventure, and if you’re asking why I opted to take on this difficult task again, I’d say it’s simply a dream. I have a constant desire to learn, and I am enthusiastic about reviving a wide range of skills and abilities. Today, I’d like to discuss a topic close to my heart: the relationship between loneliness, personal growth, and creativity. Let’s look at how embracing loneliness can be a great driver for self-discovery and creativity.
Beginning my PhD journey in the UK was a significant step full of anticipation, excitement, and loneliness. Despite living and studying near my son, the loneliness was obvious. As an international student pursuing my second PhD—this time in education, having completed my first in literature—I was no stranger to educational integrity. However, the loneliness I felt in a new country surrounded by unfamiliar faces posed an unanticipated challenge.
When I first planned my move to the UK, I expected an experience to share with my seven-year-old son. However, visa complications forced me to travel alone, leaving us apart for more than three painful months. The sorrow of being apart from him was awful, but I continued, overcoming administrative hurdles until I was reunited with him. Those months tested my resilience, but they ultimately deepened our relationship, reminding me of the power of determination and the joy of being together again. Maybe in a different blog, I could describe in detail about my feelings which I had to live without my son.
Moving to a new home can be exciting and challenging, especially when it involves adjusting to different surroundings and cultures. And moving into my new house was loaded with unexpected problems. The prospect of living overseas on my own felt scary and bizarre. Reflecting back, I recall the time when, at the age of 17, I left my hometown and family to pursue higher education in Azerbaijan’s busy metropolis, Baku. The transition from the quiet ambience of a small community to the lively pulse of a big city was a huge shock to me. However, nothing could have prepared me for the huge change of moving to a whole new nation, with no familiar faces and routines. The weight of new responsibilities appeared to fall hard on my shoulders. Despite the uncertainty and hardships, I discovered the resilience and confidence within myself to navigate this unfamiliar land, establishing a path towards personal growth and self-discovery. When I first arrived in the United Kingdom, I was full of enthusiasm. The busy academic environment and the prospect of furthering my knowledge were thrilling. However, as the days turned into weeks, the initial excitement faded and was replaced by a deep sense of loneliness. It wasn’t only the absence of familiar faces; it was the basic cultural shift, the feeling of being an outsider in a place where I was supposed to belong.
Living with my son provided some consolation, but it wasn’t enough to erase my loneliness. I yearned for meaningful connections and a sense of belonging outside of my academic responsibilities.
In these lonely moments, I found peace in writing. I decided to edit the book I had written, which had only been published in limited quantities, and translate it into English. It became a beacon of hope, allowing me to transform my feelings of loneliness into something practical and constructive.
I feel the same way as my novel character Nazli, who, like me, has to leave home twice to study. I wrote the book when I hadn’t had any experience living overseas. However, I now have a fantastic opportunity to communicate specific emotions through my character.
Writing has many benefits, especially for my emotional expressiveness and mental wellness. It allows me to release emotions, bringing clarity and understanding to what I feel. Writing helps me reduce stress and anxiety, promotes relaxation, and boosts my mood and self-esteem. It enables me to organize my thoughts, solve problems, and improve my memory. It also helps me express complex emotions, which enhances my communication and empathy. Writing has been a powerful tool for processing trauma and managing my mental health. It has given me a safe space for reflection, emotional release, and greater self-awareness, all of which have contributed to my personal growth and emotional resilience.
I began writing first and foremost throughout the night. My house balcony provides a beautiful view of the city. I enjoy viewing the city at night, especially while my son sleeps. I always enjoy Azerbaijan tea while writing, letting its warmth inspire my words. You know, the weather in Sheffield, especially on rainy days! However, occasionally the sunny weather draws me to a beautiful part of the city. I absolutely enjoy taking my laptop to the parks and working here. This ambience is amazing and motivates me to write.
Sheffield’s parks provide me with a peaceful retreat, ideal for relaxation and creative inspiration in every season. The rich vegetation, soothing sounds of nature, and peaceful ambience offer me a calming setting that eases my tension and anxiety. This serene environment has undoubtedly influenced my writing process by allowing my mind to unwind and wander freely, boosting my creativity and inspiring new ideas. The natural beauty and tranquility of Sheffield’s parks have given me the perfect environment for meditation and self-expression, enhancing my ability to write clearly and deeply.
At first, I didn’t know anyone in our PGR (postgraduate researcher) room at the university. I just went, studied, and left. However, I am not like this person; I always have a large group of people surrounding me. I felt really alone in the room as well. I started to convey my true feelings with my groupmates slowly. One of my groupmates started talking, and I realised I wasn’t alone; now I can say we’re good friends. So, in order to make friends in an unfamiliar environment, we must sometimes disclose our true feelings and emotions with others. It is not appropriate to sit and wait for someone to come and aid you or accompany you. You should do something about it.
Day by day, I began to socialise with my colleagues, talking to them, sharing my feelings and emotions, and seeking their counsel, which also helped me to relieve my tension. Many of them had similar emotional obstacles as I did, such as visa troubles, rent problems, loneliness, homesickness, feelings of alienation, and the time-consuming process of finding job opportunities. Most international students appear to face similar issues. They advised me not to give up, keep going and eventually overcome all obstacles.
My growing understanding of diversity and inclusiveness has revealed their great significance. Accepting multiple points of view enriches our experiences and encourages creativity. Inclusion makes everyone feel valued and appreciated, which fosters a sense of belonging. Recognising and respecting differences promotes equality and fosters stronger, more dynamic communities. By respecting diversity and inclusion, we help to create a more just and compassionate society in which everyone may prosper.
My writing and conversations have played an important role in creating an anti-racist climate. By openly and honestly discussing racism, I have raised awareness and fostered critical debates. I promoted understanding and empathy by engaging in thoughtful discourse and using inclusive language. By sharing varied ideas and campaigning for equality, I have helped to create a more inclusive and supportive community in which anti-racism is actively promoted and welcomed.
My current thesis focuses on inclusive components in Teacher Education in Azerbaijan. It aims to explore pre-services teachers’ experiences and perspectives, to analyse the factors of the teachers preparation for the practice of inclusive education in universities and to find out to what extent future teachers are equipped pedagogically, pragmatically and philosophically to become inclusive educators in Azerbaijan. To cope with loneliness, I joined several projects, research clusters, and courses, engaged in various activities, read more, and focused on my research topic. These efforts assisted me in improving my academic skills, making connections, sharing experiences, and developing friendships. Engaging with people in academic and community settings gave me a sense of belonging and support, changing my solitude into meaningful social engagement and friendship.
Making contacts and building a support network is critical for both my personal and professional development. Building connections provides me with emotional support, diverse perspectives, and opportunities for collaboration and learning. A strong support network helps me navigate challenges, celebrate achievements, and foster a sense of community and belonging, all of which are essential for my overall well-being and success.
My key goal in my ongoing PhD career is to complete my research successfully. This ambition is motivated by a desire to reach a broader academic audience, contribute to global discussions in inclusive education, and raise my professional profile. I hope to disseminate my findings, stimulate international collaboration, and develop my academic career. On the other hand, I’d like to finish reviewing my book, translating it into English, and releasing it in English so that it can reach a larger audience.
Loneliness, which is commonly viewed as a negative force, can really promote personal growth and creativity. Building networks in a new setting might be difficult for certain people owing to language challenges, cultural differences, or social anxiety. Writing can help people cope with loneliness, but understanding different experiences is critical for offering appropriate support, including external help, improved working or studying environment, greater efforts from university administration, and so on. Moreover, individuals confront their innermost ideas in peaceful regions of solitude, increasing self-awareness and resilience. Without external distractions, the mind explores unknown realms of imagination, resulting in innovative thoughts. Solitary contemplation has inspired many visionaries throughout history. Rather than dreading loneliness, embrace it as a catalyst for self-discovery and invention, understanding that it contains the seeds of creativity waiting to bloom.